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I’ve never been a huge fan of the way Robert Burns’ birthday is traditionally celebrated. So here’s an alternative tribute:

The Quirks of Sæby

i)  Langebroen (Long Bridge)

It’s long by name
but not by nature;
sixty metres is all.

The point is though
the river below
is only very small.

ii)  Gedebjerget (Goat Mountain)

Legend has it that Gedebjerget is named after the Viking chieftain, Gjede, a pirate who used the “mountain” as a lookout post for likely ships to attack.

Where I come from
eighty-five metres
does not a mountain make.

I doubt that sheep
would find it too steep.
There must be some mistake.

iii)  Syvsten (Seven Stones)

No one knows why
these stones were set here,
thirty-five miles from Skagen.

The story’s lost,
but not what it cost.
The seven stones remain.

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